11 days from today, Lucas will turn 24. Which means that as of today, and for everyday going forward, he is now older than his brother.

Do you still call yourself “the little brother” when that happens?

The English language seems so limited when it comes to the aftermath of loss; is there another language with a word that better describes a brother-less brother?

July 30, 2013 cleaved our life into “before” and “after”. But reaching this particular milestone seems to be creating a new subtext of “things he did” and “things he will never do”. And I am trying to figure out how to navigate through this new mine field; ensuring we celebrate Lucas as he moves through the important stages of his life, while dealing with the painful reality of Jordan being forever 23. 

“We all get stuck in place on occasion. We all move backwards sometimes. Every day we must make the decision to move in the direction of our intentions. Forward is the direction of real life.” (Cheryl Strayed)