One morning this summer as I settled into my deck chair to enjoy my coffee and the beautiful lake view, two giant Dragonflies (one green, one blue) collided midair with a thunderous crash and fell down onto the deck at my feet. Limbs wrapped around each other, wings beating madly; it was obvious they were mating. “Oh how wonderful” I thought, “The Circle of Life is being acted out before me!”

After a moment it became clear that the blue dragonfly was a rather “vigorous” lover. And then things quickly descended from a lovely Disney movie to an episode of Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. With a ferocious snap, the green Dragonfly’s head suddenly rolled across the carpet and the murderous blue Dragonfly proceeded to rip the remaining wings off the green body before tossing it aside in victory.

Thank you very much Mother Nature. Like I needed yet another reminder of the cruelty of life.

For most of the “firsts” this past year, the actual event (first Christmas, first Easter, first Anniversary, first Birthday) was never as bad as I anticipated. Perhaps girding our loins in anticipation of the worst offered some protection and carried us through. It is after the event that I  often found myself smothered in a blanket of sadness. August was like that. There were moments when the pain was as fresh and sharp as it was last summer. I think I secretly hoped that once we got through that first horrible year things would be better somehow. But I have begun to see why other parents from “The Club No One Wants to Join” speak of the second year being harder than the first. With all those “first” hurdles overcome, you are left with the realization that Christmas, Easter, his birthday – all have been changed forever. And the difficult and painful job now is to figure out not just how to get through a year, but how to get through the rest of your life. It’s a daunting task. And as I dragged myself back to work and tried to push the sadness out of the way, life looked kind of bleak.

But then the Circle of Life made itself present again.

In early September, the clan gathered on the shores of Emma Lake to witness nephew Dylan marry the love of his life. The weekend was this joyous joining together of two families through the sharing of ancient traditions (and yes, just a wee bit of Vodka) and the opportunity to witness first-hand what it looks like when you find your soul mate.

It was my privilege to act as the celebrant and I welcomed the guests by reminding them that “the wedding ceremony is an act as ancient as the human species, and as new as each morning, for it speaks of the past and the future, of the life of the individual and the support of the community.” And as I spoke those words out loud I found myself thinking – what is more hopeful than a wedding? That joining of hands, exchanging of vows and the leap into an unknown future – the never ending circle of life.

When the ceremony was over I felt a sense of peace descend upon me and a lifting of my heart that I am managing to sustain. And as luck would have it, Greg captured and preserved a moment right after the ceremony where I wrapped my arms around Lucas – filled with joy by the physical presence of one son’s love and the spiritual presence of the other.

“It’s the Circle of Life. And it moves us all through despair and hope, through faith and love”