There is no easy way to tell you and I am incapable of speech. Jordan died today. He has been acutely ill for weeks and increasingly paranoid, agitated and confused. Today he just stepped out of a car going a hundred km an hour. He died instantly. I prefer to think he was just distracted and confused – he tried to do the same thing last weekend in a parking lot. I am numb and so afraid to let the grief in because I think it may kill me. I will call you when I am ready to talk. I know you love me