This December I found myself spending a lot of time reflecting on the meaning of “Peace on Earth”. Perhaps it’s because Greg was in Cairo during the Palestine/Israel conflict and then found himself right in the middle of the Egyptian protests against Morsi’s new constitution. Perhaps it was the tragic shootings in Newtown that I can hardly bear to think about. But more likely it’s because there was no peace to be found in our home last Christmas and 2012 seemed to delight in testing our resilience over and over.

I briefly toyed with the idea of boycotting Christmas – no tree, no decorations, just ignore the whole thing. But then in one of my rambling internet searches one night, I stumbled onto an editorial from the NY Times written Dec 25, 2002:

“Peace on Earth. In all the clutter of Christmas meanings, in the rush and burden that almost engulfs this day, that hope is still its truest meaning. The resilience of this holiday, the way it seems to clutch at our emotions in the most unexpected ways, comes as much from the sense of individual promise it arouses in each of us as from the rituals of shopping and giving gifts to one another.

We postpone our resolutions till the New Year, but if we have resolutions to make, they awaken today. Through the lights and the wrapping paper, over the sounds of music and what for many of us has become a quiet celebration, we take the risk of imagining a better world, containing better versions of ourselves. To imagine that world and those people takes ”mercy mild” and the willingness to give in to this festival in the darkest time of the year. It takes the hope that ”Peace on Earth” isn’t merely a relic from an old, old tale, an impossible wish overheard in the night.”

The written word can be such a powerful tool. And so I resolved then and there to take the risk of “imagining a better world”. Lucas and I bought a tree, strung the lights, watched “Christmas Vacation”, baked sugar cookies and listened to Christmas music. We faithfully watched all of the Food Network Christmas specials for the secret to the perfect turkey and eventually applied Gordon Ramsay’s techniques with spectacular success. While I had long ago ordered iPads for the boys online, Greg and I hit the new Factory Outlets when he got home so we could feel a part of the Christmas shopping experience (and got unbelievable deals as well!). I took time each evening to sit beside the twinkling tree; fireplace on, dog at my feet and watch a corny Christmas movie.

But most importantly I took the time to reflect on, and be grateful for, all the blessings in my life. For Jordan – who survived his darkest and bleakest year yet and is in a much better place than he was last Christmas. For my mom – who wasn’t sure she would see this Christmas and whose cancer journey has been far better than we had imagined it would be. For Lucas – who gets more confident, more responsible and yes, wittier, every day.

I am grateful for all the beautiful babies that arrived this year – and for the joy they brought to their Grandmother’s. And for Carter Brian Ron Hood – the handsome young man who made me a Great Aunt!

I am grateful for the time we were given with Paulette and for the gift of being able to support her and be with her. Her passing reinforced how important it is to nurture the deep and abiding friendships that constantly shore me up and help me bounce back from life’s latest punch.

And so I find myself heading into the New Year with renewed hope and optimism. 13 has always been Greg’s lucky number – so 2013 must surely be the “Year of the Chartier”. And my “impossible wish, overheard in the night” is that we do find some peace on our little patch of earth. That Jordan continues to move forward in his recovery, that Lucas discovers the freedom that driving a car will give him and that he takes himself on a grand adventure before heading to University in September. My wish for Greg is that he continues to find ways to blend his consultant work with the travel he so enjoys, and that I can begin to free myself from my responsibilities in order to join him along the way.

And I wish the same for you –whatever your hopes and dreams and burdens are – that 2013 brings you love, joy and most of all … peace.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

(Did you really think I’d let you get away without a picture of Niko waiting to open his presents?)