It’s 8:30 PM your time, I imagine Sandra is ready to crash after getting up at 3:30 AM to drive me to the airport.(I know you offered Karen. I tried to say no to her but she is a force onto herself).  I hope Andrew had a wonderful time at his birthday party.

Greg picked me up at the Kelowna Airport in a rental vehicle the Maltman’s had arranged for him. I was fine till I got out of the car at the Penticton Psych Centre. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t stand up straight – a full blown anxiety attack right there in the parking lot. I imagine it’s a sight they are well used to.

My brief psych rotation on West One in the old City Hospital when I was a second year nursing student did little to prepare me to deal with seeing my son in the midst of full blown psychotic break. He is still convinced that he is wanted by the police, that they raided our house, that his room is bugged, that they are spying through the window. I had to leave the unit and then absolutely lost it in the parking lot.

He is better tonight than he was this morning. He continues to have paranoid delusions but at least he is sharing them with us. They have him on Respiradol and they say it could take another 48 – 72 hours to be effective. The good news – according to the psychiatrist – is that he was in treatment within 3 days of onset and not 3 weeks or months and there is a very good chance he will fully recover. I refuse to consider any other outcome. The bad news – he may need to be in care here for as long as a month. Greg and I (and the hospital staff) all agree that to move him during his inpatient treatment would be a mistake. When he is ready for outpatient care we will transition him to Saskatoon.

We are going to give it another 24 hours and then make a decision about what to do. Right now, he needs both of us here. He wouldn’t go for his CT scan without Greg (to ensure they didn’t try something) and me (to stay behind and guard his room). We have to be back at 7:30 in the morning to help them get the EEG done.

We’ve talked about taking turns staying a week at a time – but it’s really hard to know if having us here helps or hinders his recovery. He is an adult. And he doesn’t interact with the care team when we are around.  All I know is we need to find cheaper accommodation.  The Ironman Triathlon is on this weekend and everyone has jacked up their prices as a result. We had to ask social services help us find this room.

By supper Jordan was able to remember that he stashed his $270 dollar skate board, ipod et.c in a backpack near “spot b”. We assume that is on the acreage where they found him. Perhaps after a good night’s sleep he’ll be able to narrow the location down by a few hectares.

It is still very surreal. I sit there and listen to Jordan express these bizarre ideas and I find myself waiting for the punch line. This isn’t the life I ordered – can I please send it back?